As you know, AWA honored Judge Paulette Delk at this year's Annual Banquet and awarded her the Marion Griffin-Frances Loring Award. Many of you so enjoyed Judge Delk's comments that you have asked for a copy or reproduction of what she said. Although we cannot recreate the scene, Judge Delk has given us a copy of her remarks.
Judge Delk's comments:
"For those of you who are unfamiliar with Marion Griffin, you should know that she was the first woman admitted to practice law in Tenn. and the first woman to serve as a member of the TN Gen Assembly.Frances Loring was a founding member of AWA, and I am so proud to say that I knew Frances Loring. I met her shortly after moving to Memphis, and becoming an associate at what is now the Baker Donelson law firm. When I moved to Memphis, I knew very few people other than the lawyers at the firm. And when I arrived at the firm, there were two women attorneys there, but they left a month or two after I arrived–merely coincidental, I believe. So for a while, I was the only woman at the firm. And as gracious as the other associates were, it was a very lonely place. Although only 3% of the attorneys at the firm where I was an associate in Chicago were women, in actual numbers I had 15 or so women colleagues, and we were a very supportive group. I missed the support of other women attorneys, so when I learned of AWA, I made a bee-line to a meeting. I met Frances Loring at my very first meeting, and she was so welcoming and supportive. I am so very honored to receive the award that bears her name.You may note that the name of the organization is Assoc FOR Women Attys and not OF women attys. My recollection is that the use of the word for rather than of was purposeful to encourage anyone who is dedicated to supporting women attorneys to become a member. Its membership includes men, and at least one man has received the Marion Griffin-Frances Loring Award.The organization seeks to provide role models and mentors especially to women who are just starting the practice of law.My remarks tonight will be directed, in large part, toward the members of AWA, and especially toward those who are in the early stages of developing their legal careers and creating fulfilling lives.Any success that I have had has been made possible by the many role models that I had growing up as a child in Daphne, AL, in what was then a rural Ala. town, but is now, in large part, a rather ritzy suburban community.I have a picture that I treasure of my mother and her two BFFs—my Aunt Sara and my Aunt Eleanor. Those women were among the brightest, most well-read, most sophisticated, and best dressed ladies around. They were all school teachers, and they taught me the importance of being open to new things, and they encouraged me to explore the world. They had done quite well for themselves considering the place and times—rural Ala in the height of segregation. But they wanted so much more for me. The Ala legislators and educators were extremely slow in the 1950s, 60s and even into the 70s about complying with the Supreme Court’s order in Brown v Bd of Educ. It was a full 17 years after Brown that the public schools of Ala were integrated. So I attended totally segregated schools from first grade through twelfth. I sat at discarded desks, read from discarded textbooks, (and this really stands out in my mind) like all of my classmates I had to get my own specimens for biology labs, which I had to gather from the nearby creeks and Mobile Bay, not a pleasant task. It was an extremely inequitable educational system, but thankfully I had wonderful role models in those three women, as well as my father, school principal and asst principal and loads of caring extended family members–men and women, who took the time to make sure that I was exposed to the outside world through books and travel. I know firsthand that reading and travel are empowering! And I know through my personal experience the value of positive role models.Along with those early role models, I have benefited from extraordinary mentors and friends. And I have tried to return the favor by being a good mentor and friend to many.I know that I am preaching to the choir when I speak to the members of this organization about being a mentor---you are members in large part because you understand the value of mentoring and friendships. But I don’t think anyone can encourage either too often.So I encourage you tonight to be a mentor, and to be open to being mentored. No one has all of the answers, but experience is a sound teacher–for better or worse. Share some of your hard earned experience, and be willing to learn from those who have experience. It isn't always necessary to make every mistake—listen and learn from the wise decisions as well as the mistakes of others. And for more experienced attorneys, reach out and give your time. Be willing to advise less experienced lawyers on issues from finding a job or learning a new practice area to responding to a difficult managing partner or supervisor.To mentees–be open to a wide variety of mentors, and be open to hearing even advice that you don’t expect and don’t want to hear. A different perspective and hearing from someone who sees you in a completely objective light can be very enlightening.But women in law need SPONSORS as well as mentors–what’s the difference? Sponsors are active campaigners on behalf of a particular woman. The sponsor will voluntarily and regularly bring up the woman’s name and discuss her abilities whenever there is an opportunity--: the sponsor will say “why not consider Toya for this position or I suggest Toya to handle this case or I recommend Toya as a speaker for this CLE, she’d be great!" Both mentoring and sponsorship are essential for developing a lawyer’s career and for helping the lawyer to advance her career. The sponsor can help propel a person to the top of a list of candidates or thick stack of resumes. Look for opportunities to mentor and to sponsor other women.And when you serve as a mentor and/or sponsor, make sure that the one you’re helping agrees to look for opportunities to help those following her.Mentorship and sponsorship have meant a great deal to me in my career and life, but so has friendship. My friendships with women have nourished and sustained me through the years, and they have brought so much joy to my life.We've all seen the emails that are forwarded about friendships for a reason, a season or for a lifetime----women, and many men, understand that there are all kinds of friendships, and they are all valuable. My parents died when I was rather young, and one of my mother’s BFFs who I mentioned earlier, and her husband, stepped up and took care of me and my brother. That was a very special and rare friendship.But friendships are valuable even if they aren't of that rare category. Some friendships, as many of mine have, develop from college. I have several lifelong friends from my days at my beloved Fisk University, and from my sorority, Delta Sigma Theta, who celebrated its 100th Anniversary on Sunday. I don’t see those friends very often, but they remain as close and supportive as they were all those years ago. But as the years pass, you will develop relationships through your daily interactions at work, through your kids’ schools, and through various volunteer organizations. I encourage you to nurture those relationships, and allow them to develop into friendships. Whatever the source or reason for the friendship, nurture them—all of them, They all are valuable, and you will come to appreciate and to rely on them more and more the older you get.Be a friend; don’t neglect your friendships as you advance in your career. Although law will consume as many hours as you let it, take some time during every week to touch base with a friend. In the end, that’s what life is all about. After all of the billable hours are over and done with, your friendships will be what you will treasure and will cherish the most–right up there with your family.Jodie Foster received the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Golden Globes last Sunday, and one thing that she said really made an impression on me. I always knew that she was an exceptionally talented actress, and a brilliant individual, but when I heard this, I knew that she really gets it as a human being. She said:“love people, and stand beside them.”I will add to that:Be a mentor and be a friend.Reach out, and lift up! "
